Sunday, July 09, 2006

procrastionation station


not blogging for awhile makes a person feel guilt.

i think to myself "i should really write." but i don't feel like writing. then i'm vaguely inspired by something that would be halfway decent to write about, but allofasudden i remember of all the things i have skipped over [like the fact i went to CHINA for chrissakes !!!] and the inspiring thing seems somehow less inspiring...

earlier this week, i sequestered myself on a plane. being stuck in an aisle seat, i couldn't nap. so, after thoroughly finishing my gossip rag [and by thorough, of course, i mean having completed the crosswords AND cheated on the sudoku puzzles], i dug through my pockets to find a shred of paper to write. this is what i came up with:


it's been so long since i've written that i'm intimidated by the massive absence. i'm riding on a plane (again), cruisin over endless pillowy soft fields of cloud, melancholy. listening to yorn and half blinded by morning sun, i'm not sure if i've ever been quite this tired... it's been months of clocking air miles and work hours --so long, infact, that i can't quite pinpoint a beginning. the bright blue sky lined cloudy white outside my window makes a week-ago mid-night shadowy trauma seem impossibly dark. 3am i woke to fluttering and an awareness of motion above my exhausted body. window open. it's a bird, damnit... but why isn't it hitting the walls or windows ?? it must have flown around my room twice or three times before i could allow myself to acknowledge, with horror, that it was a bat. with very little effort on my part, the nocturnal beast departed the same way it came in, leaving a slighty shaken me to discover (with a bit of help from our friend the internet) that my experience was considered to be a death omen... i tried to write it off the way i would the 'death card' in tarot --that it's figurative and can mean the end of something such as a phase, a thought, a way of being. less than a week later, i found out that my last remaining grandparent had passed away...


and now i am inundated with things to write about: how much i truly fucking adore my extended family, how amazing china, japan and hong kong were with my nuclear one. how fantastic a time i had in san francisco with my partner in crime, miss M. how much i love the living end. how incredible i think the flames are gonna be this year. how beautiful fireworks can be. and on and on...

so i probably won't write again for another 3 months !!!


Blogger Jason said...

You should write more, even if it's not profound. Look at me. I post what I ate yesterday.

2:06 PM  

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