girlfriends
a few months ago, cooie asked a few of her closest girlfriends to each write a post for her blog, cause she was so busy writing her book that she didn't have time to update. because i couldn't come up with a single event or moment that represented our unique friendship, i decided to precis it in its entirety. i've posted it here, today, because it has become pertinent again. you figure it out...
***
I don’t remember meeting Carly.
I don’t remember where it was, or when exactly, or how we came to be introduced. All I’ve got in the depths of my memory, are some mutual friends and an approximate era. It’s odd, really. Generally, I have a solid recollection of faces, and am able to pinpoint the moment I first saw someone –even if it’s just some guy on the street I happen to have walked past more than once (ie: my queen street boyfriend). So NOT remembering the first time I met her means I probably already felt like I knew her…
In the Tobes/Carly episodic vernacular, there are a handful of Toronto essentials:
1. A latenight hunt to steal a toilet plunger.
2. The time I almost got in a fight with an 8 year old re: the Spice Girls movie.
3. The Spice Girls movie.
4. An unnameable tweenie-sugar pop band with a seriously cool bass player.
5. When I red-eyed from Calgary and showed up on her doorstep unannounced.
These are all near decades-ago adventures of two girls from Calgary, who met in The Big City. These are the giddy twentysomething lipstick legends that build memories; the foundation bricks for more serious moments.
In the passing years, marked by the changing of residences and boyfriends, there was the occasional email or phonecall. Or, maybe we’d catch up over lunch at some shitty bar back home. Perhaps we’d have a coffee overseas, in a touristy shopping district, if it proved easier. And each reunion brought us closer.
7. The party in dollis green (London) which was so smoky she crashed at my place
8. The time I skipped meeting the Rangers at Bryant Park, due to Carly’s insistance (I’ll never let her live this one down !!!)
Because I’d never had a lot of female sidekicks, this growing bond came as a bit of a surprise to me. Historically, the friendships with my girl-friends had been intensely close for short periods of time, and most of them ended abruptly due to some irreparable conflict (more often than not blown entirely out of proportion by yours truly). I was always left overwhelmed with hurt feelings and lingering angst.
Further time. Further homes. Further crushes/boyfriends/husbands. And then it hits me : why is it that I’m able to maintain and cherish this woman’s friendship, when I’m thoroughly unable to nurture any others ?
9. Dinner at Mel’s diner in LA.
In February, 2005, Carly and I sat down to a greasy meal in Los Angeles and discussed how neither she nor myself had been able, in the past decade, to maintain relationships with many other women. Theories were thrown around but it eventually came down to the fact that with us, the intensity and immediacy of a ‘regular’ friendship was absent. We had never lived in the same city, so the obligation of constant communication (read: gossiping and venting) was missing, and we were able to just enjoy each other every time we managed to get together. We had stripped away the bullshit and developed a truly important, mature & lasting bond.
The bottom line: I don’t remember meeting my best girlfriend on the planet.
The End.
[no pointo]
***
I don’t remember meeting Carly.
I don’t remember where it was, or when exactly, or how we came to be introduced. All I’ve got in the depths of my memory, are some mutual friends and an approximate era. It’s odd, really. Generally, I have a solid recollection of faces, and am able to pinpoint the moment I first saw someone –even if it’s just some guy on the street I happen to have walked past more than once (ie: my queen street boyfriend). So NOT remembering the first time I met her means I probably already felt like I knew her…
In the Tobes/Carly episodic vernacular, there are a handful of Toronto essentials:
1. A latenight hunt to steal a toilet plunger.
2. The time I almost got in a fight with an 8 year old re: the Spice Girls movie.
3. The Spice Girls movie.
4. An unnameable tweenie-sugar pop band with a seriously cool bass player.
5. When I red-eyed from Calgary and showed up on her doorstep unannounced.
These are all near decades-ago adventures of two girls from Calgary, who met in The Big City. These are the giddy twentysomething lipstick legends that build memories; the foundation bricks for more serious moments.
In the passing years, marked by the changing of residences and boyfriends, there was the occasional email or phonecall. Or, maybe we’d catch up over lunch at some shitty bar back home. Perhaps we’d have a coffee overseas, in a touristy shopping district, if it proved easier. And each reunion brought us closer.
7. The party in dollis green (London) which was so smoky she crashed at my place
8. The time I skipped meeting the Rangers at Bryant Park, due to Carly’s insistance (I’ll never let her live this one down !!!)
Because I’d never had a lot of female sidekicks, this growing bond came as a bit of a surprise to me. Historically, the friendships with my girl-friends had been intensely close for short periods of time, and most of them ended abruptly due to some irreparable conflict (more often than not blown entirely out of proportion by yours truly). I was always left overwhelmed with hurt feelings and lingering angst.
Further time. Further homes. Further crushes/boyfriends/husbands. And then it hits me : why is it that I’m able to maintain and cherish this woman’s friendship, when I’m thoroughly unable to nurture any others ?
9. Dinner at Mel’s diner in LA.
In February, 2005, Carly and I sat down to a greasy meal in Los Angeles and discussed how neither she nor myself had been able, in the past decade, to maintain relationships with many other women. Theories were thrown around but it eventually came down to the fact that with us, the intensity and immediacy of a ‘regular’ friendship was absent. We had never lived in the same city, so the obligation of constant communication (read: gossiping and venting) was missing, and we were able to just enjoy each other every time we managed to get together. We had stripped away the bullshit and developed a truly important, mature & lasting bond.
The bottom line: I don’t remember meeting my best girlfriend on the planet.
The End.
[no pointo]
posted by walkinvisible at 10:51 AM
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