rainbows & puppydogs

did you know that breyers makes orange creamsicle ice cream ? how is it possible that nobody has DONE this before ??

happier sad

an excerpt from an email i got tonight from my best friend, who's just returned from overseas...

"There's a passage in 'Paris Trance' where the main guy is lying there on the grass naked with the girl he's in love with, looking up at the canopy of stars and he has the realization, absolute in his mind, that he will never know happiness to the same extent as at that precise moment. There may come times that approach it or, as the scientists say, "narrowly approximate it", but they'll never surpass it. And he's convinced of that. And it, ironically and inevitably, makes him sad."

genius...

get bent part II

Day six of the bender went off without a hitch... except that the pieman didn't show up for his own birthday drinks [i suppose it's entirely possible that i got the day wrong --an excusable error due to the previous days of, and aforementioned, boozing]. but no harm done; it just got us out on the sauce a little early...

having downed a single shot of tequila on wednesday, our custom was to add one for each passing night. this meant a quota of four for saturday. simply put: we had to hit at least four establishments... though i'd been drinking the pints all week, i opted instead for the gin & tonic chaser. it seemed like it would be easier for the ensuing morning...

after toasting the absent pieman at HIS bar on HIS birthday (or...uh....maybe not), we bailed and headed to the cameron house. this place easily wins the prize for the sleekest, sexiest glassware of our weeklong journey [no point]. we tipped back a shot and a cocktail & went looking for somewhere trashier. the 'shoe. perfection. BOY was playing, bringing back cloudy memories of perfect smiles at lava lounge last year... but fuck the cover charge. so we sucked back another shot & another g&t, and chatted up my favorite of toronto bartenders [teddy, if you're reading this --and i know you're not-- i love ya, man].

as we headed out to our final destination, the underground, we crossed though the club district and it became apparent that there are different types of drinkers in the world. people that drink for sport (us), and people that drink to be seen (them). it has been awhile since i've been surrounded by so many club-goers but sequins, spike heels & cologne are all, apparently, still 'in'.

the underground was chaotically enjoyable. a strange cast of characters were present on the dancefloor, which happened to be decidedly close to where we perched with our drinks. there was this lecherous asian dude rubbing up against...well... pretty much anyone. there was a ridiculously attractive busguy with metal in his face. but the most entertaining was the white-trash blonde glaswegian girl who was entirely unabashed about playing airguitar from her knees...

we got drunk. we danced. we laughed...
ah, yes. day 6 was a success.

"and God completeth by the seventh day His work which He hath made, and ceaseth by the seventh day from all His work which He hath made." (Genesis 2:2).
ie: we both agreed we were far too shattered sunday to make it thru another night of this bullshit.
[oh, and clearly i'm going to hell from the hubris...]

get bent

after 3 or 4 beers on monday night, embarking on a seven-day bender seemed like a really good idea.

i was at the athlete show with a director friend of mine, and we ran into a couple of production good-time girls (one of whom, my partner-in-crime-to-be, tends to be present often for my semi-regular intoxicated undoing). following a bit of discussion and a few more heineken, our challenging drinking schedule had been outlined: seven nights of booze and debauchery...

it was an ambitious schedule, to be sure, so we crept into day 2 with some caution (and a bit of a hangover). both of us would be required to maintain some normalcy during the workweek, and by the time we had defined the duration of the upcoming drinking spree, it was far too late to reign in day 1. so, on tuesday we hit clinton's for what would be the first of two going-away parties during our weeklong social schedule. we watched the 'band' (though the term could be debated by the noise that was produced) for a bit, then retired to the patio with the rest of the 'bon voyage' crowd. a few pints consumed and we opted to cut out early, thus conserving the precious bingeing energy that would be needed for the remainder of the week.

wednesday (day3) was tough. the nightly outings had begun to take their toll on my body & i was pretty beat (bear in mind, if you will, that the night the seven-day bender was established, i was already technically on my third consecutive evening of boozing). i got home after work and promptly went to bed, utterly convinced that if my drinking-buddy bailed, i would be ecstatic --but i would certainly not be the one to end the challenge... after a few traded texts, we met at the silver dollar at 10:30 for an evening of bluegrass, and to my surprise, i actually felt pretty good when i got there... we split around 11:30 & as we walked to john's pizza for a slice, we realized this whole 'bender' thing is kindof a misnomer since we have yet to get totally bent. still, a beer & a shot of tequila, coupled with the down-home, good-vibe bluegrass, made for at least a nice buzz...

thursday turned out to be a lot bigger than i anticipated, especially since i'd been roped into producing/pming a pickup shot for work the next morning. we battled the downpour and the "fuck-it-it's-raining-i'm-staying-home" attitude and went for dinner and a pint at bar#1. then we had 2 shots of tequila at bar#2. Next, we played pool & had a pint at bar#3. ended up at bar#4 with a bunch of guys from work, where drinking came easy and leaving was a bit of a challenge. still, i managed to make it home by my self-imposed 1am curfew.

friday morning was brutal: nobody likes to get up at 6. but it was day 5, and i could see the light at the end of the proverbial bender tunnel. and the festivities for the evening would take place at the cadillac lounge –undeniably close to home. all I had to do was get through work: a single pickup shot and some paperpushing. i figured I’d make it home by 5 with plenty of time for a nap… except the day didn’t quite turn out as planned (it never does) and I just managed to squeeze in a quick shower before I had to meet the girls on queen street for another going-away party. By the end of dinner an hour later, i’d consumed two pints and two tequila shots… sigh… and had a couple more beers and another shot (which was jumbo-sized & almost didn’t stay down) over the rest of the night. evening topped off with a trip to Social for what was apparently 80’s night and rocked out hard to Bon Jovi…

saturday morning was amazing. i slept in till 11, which (thanks to advil and a gatorade around 9) was pretty much hangover-free. had some breakfast and a cuppa & watched ManU lose to blackburn. ate some really dodgy fast food and rented six feet under (season 3, discs 2 & 3) which I watched 3 episodes of. the rest will be watched sunday after day 6 of the first annual september bender is behind me… and this brings us to present. i’m furiously typing this LEGEND of a tale so I can post it, before heading out to the pieman’s birthday bash at fion macCool’s. the summary of the final two nights to be posted at a later and more sober date.

iI feel like the Morgan Spurlock of the drinking world…
wish me luck…

slippery slope

so i notice, now, that i haven't written a thing for over a week. i suck. i guess this is how it all starts to shake down in the real world, how time just vanishes and you're left wondering where it all went...

things i did this week:
- found out i have family in argentina
- visited with my cousin & some old, old friends who live in londontown
- hung out with a cute boy
- hung out with another cute boy
- worked way too hard, for way too many hours
- read some stuff about hockey (not the least of which were the backside of four håkan loob hockey cards, including the rookie, that were given to me by a guy at work)
- binge-drank. like, more than once
- saw a band
- paid waaaay too much for a salad with dressing that should have been called "salt-sauce"
- got nostalgic over 'could-have-been' boys of old
- watched a kick-ass german flick called "goodbye lenin"

and point form is all i have time left for.
fuck!

disasters (who, me ?)

i decided i wanted to write, but couldn't figure out if i should rant about how much i fucking hate the TTC, or how much i'm diggin' this new tv show, PrisonBreak, or how it's the end of binge drinking season [and, boy, did it go out with a bang]... so, instead, i thought i'd just pass on an email exchange between me and one of my oldest friends, katrina, who i've known since (her) birth.

me, last week: "bummer to have a major catastrophe with your name on it (right spelling and EVERYTHING)"

her, today: "When Katrina was just a tropical storm a couple weeks ago I thought it was cool to share the name. But now it just sucks. I've had enough of the headlines: 'Katrina brings death and destruction'. 'Katrina kills 166'. 'Katrina devastates'. Not good for my reputation."

uh.... yeah.

clockwatching

two nights ago, i made loose/tentative plans with the german to hang out (with him & his brother). they were coming into the city to do some stuff, and he said he'd call after i finished work (around 7).

i get home, eat dinner, have a beer: 8 o'clock. watch a little disaster coverage teev: 9. "whatthefuckisgoingonhere??!": 10pm. by 11, i was certain i'd been stood up for the first time in years [but, let's face it --i don't really date that much].

11:04 (nope. nothing's on the teev)
11:11 (time to make a wish)
11:14 (i'm pretty tired, actually)
11:16 (i should probably go to bed)
11:17 KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

??????

so, of course the german had left my phone number in richmond hill, but was totally convinced he'd be able to find my house. in the dark. in the rain. having been here maybe three times EVER. about a year ago... oh, and my house isn't the easiest to find at the best of times...

question: was his brother was SORE about driving around toronto for two hours looking for some random house ?

answer : it doesn't take much to make me feel good inside.


no point. obviously.